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Fair week, swim onesies and other musings

If this blog has seemed a little quiet, it's because it's Columbia County Fair week. For the reporter at my newspaper who covers Columbia County (hey, that's me!), the high holy days fall in the fourth week of July, when all the 4-H and FFA kids shine a spotlight on the many, many things that even very young rural children can accomplish.
I really should take a pedometer to the fair sometime, to see how far I walk during any given stint of legging out a daily fair story. I would bet my titanium left knee that it's easily a quarter-mile from the Ag Building to the Portage Fire Department's food stand, where I traditionally buy my first fair food each year -- an ear of roasted corn with no salt or butter. And, during livestock show, I bet I put another half-mile on my mud-caked shoes trying to find a decent photo angle in the Ag Building, where all the open barn doors create vicious backlighting.
So who needs to exercise during fair week?
I do. The challenge is finding the time to get to the pool or the gym.
But I'm not kidding: The titanium knee with its plastic cartilage has made all the difference this year. At the 2017 fair, I was in agony, and the agony endured for a month, prompting me to call my orthopedist and try injections of synthetic lubricant -- three of them, each a week apart. The first one hurt like h-e-double hockey sticks at first, but the Syn-Visc worked for me, allowing me to walk and exercise in much less pain. But it's not meant to be a long-term solution. That's why I had the knee replaced. And I'm happy to say I anticipate a Columbia County Fair with no "ago-knee."
However, I've penciled in some pool time today.
That's one reason why I got such a kick out of a video I saw on Facebook this morning.
A mother of a toddler, it seems, is crediting herself for inventing a kids' swimsuit with a snap crotch,  so little girls can tinkle in the toidy without their mothers having to peel off the whole swimsuit.
Two thoughts: Why didn't someone come up with a "onesie" tank suit for kids years ago? (Maybe someone did.) And, why don't they make these for adult women?
Most of the women in the clinic-based pool where I swim wear tankinis, which look like one-piece suits, but have a separate panty and midriff-covering top. I've never had a tankini, because I don't like how the tops tend to look like blouses, and I need something skin-tight -- a true tank suit -- for efficient swimming.
Well, not always. My bikini -- really a modest two-piece, with wide straps on the top and sides -- has proven to be a true swimsuit. I love to wear it in the water. It almost feels like skinny-dipping.
Which segues to my final musing:
Did you hear the story about the guy who took the Planet Fitness slogan -- "The Judgment-Free Zone" -- completely at face value?
It seems this dude walked in to a Planet Fitness gym in New Hampshire and stripped down to only what God gave him, then checked himself out in the gym's ubiquitous full-length mirrors before beginning his workout.
It was a crowded gym. One of its denizens called the police.
As a member of a gym franchise that's a competitor of Planet Fitness, this was my first thought: Before this guy was hauled away in handcuffs, did he have the courtesy to wipe down his equipment?
His FITNESS equipment, I mean! Get your minds out of the gutter!!



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